I am currently wearing knee brace that keeps my leg from bending. Last week my ankle gave out on me and I fell, twisting both my knee and my ankle. I have had several falls and near falls with this ankle so the process of putting on the walking boot, eventually switching to the lace up brace, then back to normal shoes is like second nature to me. I know that I will not be in the boot forever and I’m not going to be constantly tortured by the brace for the rest of my life. However, the knee pain and knee brace is a new experience for me. Of all the times that I have fallen (and believe me, I have fallen a LOT- like 15+ times over the past 2 years!!), I have not hurt my knee enough to need a stabilizing brace. This weekend was filled with some normalcy- hanging out closer to the house to avoid too much movement and some things that were completely new to me- like trying to pee when I can’t even sit down on the toilet.
We are not promised that life is always going to be great! We are pretty much guaranteed to have some pain, suffering, and loss at some point in our lives. We don’t know when it is coming. We cannot be prepared for it. I was never given a contract that says if I do surgery, physical therapy, and injections then I will be guaranteed that my ankle will be completely normal again. I can do things that will decrease my chances of falling, but I cannot say for sure, that I will not fall again.
I could have spent the weekend whining about how much pain I have. I could have complained about how it is unfair that my doctor hasn’t approved me yet for surgery. I could have spent some time googling symptoms of knee pain, ankle pain, and what is the recovery period after leg amputation. It wasn’t my plan to spend the entire weekend at home with the majority of time on the recliner with ice packs covering my leg. I could have dwelt on everything that could go wrong with the healing process/lack of improvement with my ankle. But I didn’t let those thoughts control everything I did.
When those thoughts popped into my head, there were times that I gave them too much attention and let them run wild for more time than necessary. I am learning and practicing to let go of the negative. I cannot control when the negative thoughts come to play. I can control whether I invite them into my house and let them become an unwelcome permanent fixture or thank them for coming and focus on the things I can control- like how to get up and down a flight of stairs without bending one of your knees.
Life does not always go according to our plans. We will go through challenging times and we will likely need support from those around us.
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